the True Progress Newsletter
Every Sunday, you'll get 3 insights, 1 challenge, and 1 system to help you conquer fear, upgrade resilience, and become unstoppable.
Previous Issues
33 Systems, emotional schemas, and recluse
No. 33 – 21 July 2023
Welcome to the 33rd edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and courage and pushing past your limits.
Article
These systems work to clear the mind and reduce overwhelm so you can finish what you start.
— Read more
Quote
Roman knight and Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus, on obstacles:
“If you work hard to do what is right, do not be upset by roadblocks; think about how many of the things in your life haven’t turned out as you wanted them to, but as they should have.”
— Source: Musonius Rufus: Lectures and Sayings
Insight
The 5 emotional habits you want to avoid if you want to build long-lasting resilience to accomplish your goals: (from NY Times best-selling author Tara Bennett-Goleman):
Just like you build habits and discipline for getting up early and going to the gym, you also build emotional habits. And you build them without even realizing it. These habits can make life hard as they control your thoughts and behavior.
1/ Abandonment
This habit develops from the loss of something or someone. The belief attached to this habit is a fear of being left alone. Some of the feelings that people experience with this habit:
Sadness
Isolation
Some of the root causes:
Childhood experience of being left
Moving all the time
Having an unstable, unreliable, or emotionally distant parent
Effects:
Constantly wanting reassurance from your partner
Clinging on
2/ Deprivation
Develops when one or both parents were self-absorbed and didn't give enough attention to their kids.
The belief with this habit is, "my needs won't be met."
The feelings experienced:
Deep sadness, hopelessness
Anger from needs not being met
Loneliness
Some common root causes:
Lack of nurturance, warmth, or affection
No empathy shared towards you
Lack of guidance and direction
Effects:
You're needy
You waste money on self to fill the void
You end up being the caretaker you never had
3/ Subjugation
The core belief is, "it's always your way."
Feelings:
Hidden resentment
Anger
Feeling used or controlled
Root causes:
Childhood is dominated by controlling parents
Effects:
You become powerless, helpless
You become indifferent about making decisions
You have commitment issues
You think you're easy-going when in reality you never stand up for your needs
4/ Mistrust
The core belief with this habit is, "people can't be trusted."
Feelings:
Anger
Rage
Root cause:
A past experience like abuse or mistreatment
Effects:
You become vigilant in your relationships
You fear that people will take advantage of you
5/ Unlovability
The core belief is, "I'm not lovable."
Feelings:
Shame and humiliation from thoughts of being defective
Root cause:
Parents who are demeaning, insulting, or hypercritical
Parents sending a message of, "you're not good enough" through actions and words
Effects:
You keep a distance from people
You carry a sense of unworthiness & low self-confidence
If you want to become more aware of your emotional habits, here’s the 5-step process:
Step 1: acknowledge what's going on
Step 2: be open to your feelings
Step 3: notice your thoughts
Step 4: what does your emotional reaction remind you of?
Step 5: look for a pattern
Question
When was the last time you spent some quality time alone? Do you enjoy your own company or does it make you feel uncomfortable? If it's the latter, why?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
32 Mindset, character, and signposts
No. 32 – 14 July 2023
Welcome to the 32nd edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and courage and pushing past boundaries.
Article
Resilience is not what you think it is. These are the 2 mistakes 95% of people make when they encounter obstacles.
— Read more
Quote
Susan David, on making decisions aligned with values:
“To make decisions that match up with the way you hope to live going forward, you have to be in touch with the things that matter to you so you can use them as signposts. If you’ve never taken the time to sort out your values, you’re always winging it, which is how we wind up frittering away our time.”
— Source: Emotional Agility
Insight
6 timeless hard-to-believe lessons for managing your fears and persevering through obstacles:
1/ Running away from stress every chance you get is not good for you.
A dose of pain is good for the soul.
It helps you see what you did wrong.
What you can and cannot change.
Increases your tolerance for it.
2/ Pain is temporary and bearable. "You can endure anything your mind can make endurable, by treating it as in your interest to do so." Marcus Aurelius
3/ There is pleasure and calm on the other side of pain. "There is a pleasure in having succeeded in enduring something the actual enduring of which was very far from pleasant." Seneca
4/ Think about the things you’ve done in the past that have been courageous. When adversity comes, remind yourself of the obstacles and suffering you overcame. "Call to mind things which you have done that have been upright or courageous." Seneca
5/ Focus on what you can control. You can still act with virtue, despite the pain. Be a good person and focus on helping others. That's the secret to alleviating your current suffering.
6/ Focus only on the present moment. You aggravate your suffering by thinking about what’s already happened to you or thinking about what’s to come. Hope lies in the future, hence unpredictable. The past is history and cannot be changed. The present, then, is what matters.
Question
Connecting deeply with someone you just met, despite differences in background, job, religion, or culture, can be an enriching experience.
However, our default tendency is to seek out individuals who are similar to us in appearance and speech, as it's what we're used to and makes us feel safe.
When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and attempted to have a conversation with someone who looked or sounded different?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
31 Mastering emotions, systems advantage, and authenticity
No. 31 – 7 July 2023
Welcome to the 31st edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and pushing past mental and physical boundaries.
Article
4 science-backed ways for managing emotions in high-stress situations.
— Read more
Quote
Steve Jobs on creativity:
"Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something.”
Insight
Perseverance requires mental space for clear thinking and focus.
Clear thinking and focus are byproducts of systems.
Systems are processes intended to provide orderliness amidst chaos and to free up mental clutter, giving you the clarity to tackle and complete the goals you set out for yourself—to persevere.
Competing demands pull us in every direction, and we fail to be present in the moment — the most precious aspect of life.
As knowledge workers and creatives, we rely on information to make connections, create new insights, build businesses, and produce unique work products.
Perseverance requires systems.
Question
Carl Jung reminds us that everyone carries a dark shadow inside and the less it’s embraced and the more it’s pushed away, the darker it becomes.
What is one way you can live more authentically and own your demons, impulses, and desires so they become your ally rather than continuing to feel ashamed about them?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
30 Optimization tips, daily conditioning, and resilience
No. 30 – 30 June 2023
Welcome to the 30th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and pushing past mental and physical boundaries.
Article
The most successful athletes, CEOs, knowledge workers, and creative professionals understand these 6 factors for optimizing their performance.
— Read more
Quote
John Wooden, one of the most revered coaches in the history of sports, on incremental progress:
"When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens—and when it happens, it lasts."
Insight
Building resilience is not just about bouncing back up after failure.
It’s about getting clarity on our purpose for the tough times that lie ahead.
The formula:
contribution + building horizontal relationships + respect + detachment from self
Question
If fear or failure were not an issue, would you still have the same goals?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
29 Habit formula, grit, and quitting
No. 29 – 23 June 2023
Welcome to the 29th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and pushing past mental and physical boundaries.
Article
What's one habit you wished you could build tomorrow? Here's a proven habit formula.
— Read more
Quote
Marc Brackett, founder and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, on the pursuit of happiness:
“Paradoxical to what we’ve been taught, the constant pursuit of happiness can be self-defeating. Accumulating research shows that the more we value happiness, the more likely we are to feel disappointed.”
— Source: Permission to Feel
Insight
We often confuse grit with resilience. Grit is what Angela Duckworth calls passion + perseverance. Gritty people, despite their best efforts, get frustrated, stuck, overwhelmed, and quit. That’s where resilience comes in.
Resilience is psychological endurance. It’s managing the lows and overcoming the tough times. Resilience requires emotion skills.
Grittiness keeps you on the path to improved performance over time. Resilience makes you unstoppable regardless of the obstacle.
Question
People quit for various reasons—things get too difficult, loss of motivation, family commitments, and so on. When you end up quitting, what do you keep telling yourself?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
28 Daily joy, headspace, and comparison
No. 28 – 16 June 2023
Welcome to the 28th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and pushing past mental and physical boundaries.
Article
Explore these 7 simple yet forgotten ways to fulfillment and joy by 20th-century psychologist Alfred Adler.
— Read more
Quote
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, on freeing up mental headspace for better thinking and decision-making:
“Habits reduce cognitive load and free up mental capacity, so you can allocate your attention to other tasks . . . It’s only by making the fundamentals of life easier that you can create the mental space needed for free thinking and creativity.”
— Source: Atomic Habits
Insight
The key to living with courage lies in the ability to tolerate being disliked by others.
Question
Comparing ourselves to others has to be one of the most self-sabotaging things one can do. It festers in our mind, triggers emotions, creates self-doubt, and can lead to wishful thinking and complaining about life being unfair.
What do you do when you find yourself in this negative thought spiral?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
27 Relationships, progress, and low morale
No. 27 – 7 June 2023
Welcome to the 27th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
Article
Building courage and resilience comes down to applying these five timeless psychology rules from Alfred Adler.
— Read more
Quote
Epictetus, on progress:
"How long will you wait before you demand the best of yourself, and trust reason to determine what is best?…. Finally decide that you are an adult who is going to devote the rest of your life to making progress… that the chance for progress, to keep or lose, turns on the events of a single day."
— Source: Discourses and Selected Writings
Insight
Question
Engaging in full effort for a sustained period of time and seeing no results is one of the most demoralizing feelings in the world. What do you do when you find yourself in these moments?
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
26 Ethos, envy, and kindness
No. 26 – 2 June 2023
Welcome to the 26th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Most shared tweet this past week (click to read):
Article
Much of our daily overwhelm comes down to not knowing which decision to make, which path to travel on, which task to focus on. This small but powerful document can serve as a guiding compass.
— Read more
Quote
Seneca, on time and doing what matters:
"If such people want to know how short their lives are, let them reflect how small a portion is their own. So, when you see a man repeatedly wearing the robe of office, or one whose name is often spoken in the Forum, do not envy him: these things are won at the cost of life."
Insight
Being of use to someone is one of the most powerful ways to contribute to one's community. It creates purpose. But it requires a shift in mindset, from "what can this person do for me," to "what can I do for this person?"
With purpose comes self-worth. And with self-worth, natural confidence is born. The confidence to take on challenges, to take on increasing risk, have courage, and be resilient during tough times.
Question
Life becomes sweeter when we dance for the love of dancing, when we fall in love with the journey, not the destination. Are you climbing your mountain to reach the top or are you climbing because you enjoy it?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
25 Difficult people, joy, and living freely
No. 25 – 26 May 2023
Welcome to the 25th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Article
Dealing with difficult people requires resilience. Some may be more distrustful than others, but with the right approach and mindset it's possible to connect with them.
— Read more
Quote
Seneca, on mindset and happiness:
"It is the mind that creates our wealth, and this goes with us into exile, and in the harshest desert places it finds sufficient to nourish the body and revels in the enjoyment of its own goods. Money in no way concerns the mind any more than it concerns the gods."
Insight
Joining a group is one of the most powerful ways to build values and adopt desired behaviors.
When I joined the Army JAG Corps (Army legal branch), I was in a class full of highly talented and driven individuals—Division 1 athletes, federal prosecutors, special operations soldiers, martial artists, and Ivy league graduates.
Being part of a group increases the likelihood of conforming to the group's norms and values due to social pressure. This phenomenon is supported by numerous psychology experiments that demonstrate how quickly an individual can assimilate to a group that thinks or acts differently.
Renowned psychologist Angela Duckworth describes this as the power of culture. Eventually, the group's methods and beliefs become indoctrinated in the individual, shaping the way they behave and think.
Question
Being disliked is confirmation that we're living according to our own standards and beliefs, not someone else's.
Are you afraid of being disliked and if so, why?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
24 Living freely, systems, and your shortcomings
No. 24 – 19 May 2023
Welcome to the 24th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Article
Here are some timeless principles from twentieth-century psychologist Alfred Adler for freeing ourselves from our past, living more deliberately, and overcoming our fears.
— Read more
Quote
French novelist Gustave Flaubert on organization and systems:
"Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original in your work."
Insight
For centuries, intellectuals and artists from Leonardo da Vinci to John Locke have captured ideas and insights they found most interesting in a book they carried around with them. Known as a 'commonplace book,' it wasn't just a journal but a learning tool they used to understand the world and make connections from seemingly different disciplines.
System experts like August Bradley and Tiago Forte call them vaults and second brains, respectively. Whatever the name, we could all use a similar system to capture, organize, and distill information we digest—whether from books, videos, magazines, or other content sources.
There are plenty of tools to choose from. Bestselling author Robert Greene uses a physical notecard system. August Bradley and Tiago Forte use Notion and other software. Obsidian, Apple Notes, and Evernote are other digital options.
Question
Two of the most common paradigms we use to make sense of the world, including our shortcomings, are gene- and environmental-based.
When was the last time you blamed your parents or environment for your current problems and what opportunities or advantages could you focus on instead?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
23 Great storytelling, your cards, and failures
No. 23 – 12 May 2023
Welcome to the 23rd edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Article
Sharing stories of painful experiences and challenges reminds us of how we overcame adversity. It creates a strong bond with the listener, inspiring them to navigate their own challenges and develop the resilience to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. Here’s how to become a better storyteller.
— Read more
Quote
Steven Pressfield, on effort and seeking praise for it:
"We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause."
Insight
When we compare ourselves to others, we unconsciously focus on what we don't have. To this, Alfred Adler says, “The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.”
The cards we were dealt in life don’t matter as much as what we do with them going forward. People who keep going despite repeated setbacks and disadvantages tend to be the most successful. Be proud of your cards and use them to push forward.
Question
When things don't go our way, it's easy to fall into the trap of blaming ourselves and focus on our failures.
How can you find a perspective that turns your failures into learning opportunities to do great things?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
22 Resilient thinking, attaining wisdom, and mini-rituals
No. 22 – 5 May 2023
Welcome to the 22nd edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
Based on our readers' feedback, we decided to switch things up again. If you have any thoughts, let us know.
Article
Critical thinking is a key part to being resilient because without it, we're prone to panic, making impulsive decisions, or becoming overwhelmed by the situation. Three simple Socratic techniques help prevent that.
— Read more
Quote
Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher, on attaining wisdom:
"To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day."
Insight
There's nothing like waking up in the morning knowing you have a challenging day ahead. Whether it's an important presentation or a meeting with your boss, the anxiety can hit you hard and stay with you up until you need to perform.
The next time you have a stressful day looming ahead, you can create a mini-ritual for yourself. World-renowned chess master Josh Waitzkin uses mini-rituals to bring him back to his ideal performance state of focus and full engagement.
A mini-ritual can include 3-5 simple things you do, like splashing your face with water, doing sprints an hour before showtime, push-ups, deep breaths, and so on. An important part of this is to release the pent-up energy stored in your body.
Question
Quitting can seem painful, especially if it's something you're not programmed to do.
But sometimes, quitting is the best option if the data is telling you to change course. Have you recently quit something, and looking back, do you think it was a good decision?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
21 Emotional fog, perception and molehills
No. 21 – 28 April 2023
Welcome to the 21st edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
The amygdala stores negative emotional memories and can cause overreactions, called schema attacks. Read here to learn how you can reprogram your amygdala by avoiding these four things:
— Read more
Insight
Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius on reappraisal:
"So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune."
Challenge
Courage is a hallmark of resilience. We need it to get through the fear of falling again.
With individuals and groups, we can't build true relationships without trusting one another. And trust requires that we overcome our egos and risk being hurt or disappointed. It requires courage.
The alternative is to avoid relationships altogether, which is impossible. If we want strong relationships, courage to trust must be developed.
There are people you may feel unsure about or even threatened by. What can you commit to doing to start trusting more and allowing people in?
Question
When was the last time you made a mountain out of a molehill? Do you keep doing this around the same type of issues?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
20 Trust, humiliation, and seeing weakness
No. 20 – 21 April 2023
Welcome to the 20th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
Renowned FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss uses this one technique to building strong relationships.
— Read more
Insight
Seneca, on being resilient:
"In time, when they have decided not to struggle against but to bear them, they learn from necessity to endure with fortitude, and from habit to endure with ease. In any situation in life you will find delights and relaxations and pleasures if you are prepared to make light of your troubles and not let them distress you."
Challenge
Fear of being humiliated stops us from taking risks because we don't want to fail.
But the more exposure to the emotion, the more comfortable we become with it.
Make a short list of situations you fear will leave you feeling humiliated. Pick one from your list and expose yourself to it.
Question
Accepting our weaknesses is difficult because it can bruise the ego, but the sooner we acknowledge and start working on them, the more confident and successful we become.
What's a significant weakness you've been hesitant to acknowledge and has affected different aspects of your life?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
19 Clear thinking, disliked, and ignorance
No. 19 – 14 April 2023
Welcome to the 19th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
Perseverance requires clear thinking and clear thinking is a byproduct of this one tiny skill.
— Read more
Insight
Japanese philosopher Ichiro Kishimi on the freedom of being disliked:
"Freedom is being disliked by other people.... It's that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and saying that you are living in accordance with your own principles."
Challenge
Socrates practiced a technique called deliberate ignorance. He pretended not to know something when he in fact did. His purpose was to make the people he was speaking with realize their own ignorance.
It's also a practice in taming the ego and having the courage to be vulnerable.
Next time you find yourself speaking with someone, pretend to be ignorant of the topic of conversation by asking more and speaking less. See how far you can get.
Question
Some experiences are so scary that they push us to our emotional and physical limits. This is the time to reach deep into our mind and dig up the courage to keep moving forward.
When was the last time you faced such a scenario, and if you got through it, what mental steps did you take to continue pushing forward?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
18 Toughness, individuality, and being
No. 18 – 7 April 2023
Welcome to the 18th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
In this week’s newsletter, we’ve changed the format just a little bit to include a challenge meant to push you outside your comfort zone.
TPL Article
What we can learn about toughness, creativity, and determination from this American Nobel Prize in Literature winner.
— Read more
Insight
Japanese philosopher Ichiro Kishimi on focusing on one's own tasks:
"All you can do with regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgment do other people pass on that choice? That is the task of other people, and is not a matter you can do anything about."
Challenge
Go through your phone's contact list. Chances are that you have phone numbers of people you haven't talked to in years.
Pick one person, call them, and strike up a conversation.
Question
We're constantly striving to achieve our goals and reach a destination. As a result, we find ourselves in a state of preparation and end up postponing life.
If you were suddenly no longer able to chase your goals, would you still be content with who you are and how far you've come? If not, why?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
17 Training courage, effort over talent, and dependency
No. 17 – 31 March 2023
Welcome to the 17th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
How a Japanese diplomat found courage and saved thousands of lives using these 3 simple grade school rules.
— Read more
Insight
Nineteenth century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche on effort and work over talent:
“Do not talk about giftedness, inborn talents! One can name great men of all kinds who were very little gifted. They acquired greatness, became ‘geniuses’ (as we put it). . . . They all possessed that seriousness of the efficient workman which first learns to construct the parts properly before it ventures to fashion a great whole; they allowed themselves time for it, because they took more pleasure in making the little, secondary things well than in the effect of a dazzling whole.”
Micro Thought
Seeking praise is a growing addiction. It's good when it's for effort, but it can be problematic when it's for talent.
Carol Dweck, pioneer on mindset research, says that when we're focused on effort, we challenge ourselves because we're concerned with growth, not praise.
When we rely too much on praise, we not only shy away from challenge, but our self worth becomes dependent on it and without it, we may feel lost.
In the end, praise is none other than living by others' expectations, concerning ourselves with how we're judged by others.
Question
We all feel stuck or lost at times. Our resilience helps us get past difficult situations, and it begins with asking the right questions:
Am I stuck or am I just progressing at a slower than desirable pace?
Am I going in the right direction or do I need to adjust course?
Do I need to take a break and come back with a fresh perspective?
What are some questions you can ask yourself?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
16 Critical thinking, abundance, and living courageously
No. 16 – 24 March 2023
Welcome to the 16th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
Apply critical thinking techniques to those hard-to-overcome emotions like stress, anxiety, and anger.
— Read more
Insight
Marc Brackett, Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, on allowing oneself to feel their emotions:
"When we ignore our feelings, or suppress them, they only become stronger. The really powerful emotions build up inside us, like a dark force that inevitably poisons everything we do, whether we like it or not. Hurt feelings don't vanish on their own. They don't heal themselves. If we don't express our emotions, they pile up like a debt that will eventually come due."
Micro Thought
Our perception of the world can drastically change when we choose to view people as our allies rather than our competition. This abundance mindset converts our thinking in five essential ways:
We don’t feel threatened or down by others doing better than us.
We know there's enough success to go around.
We learn and feel inspired by them.
We know we can get better with the right effort.
We focus on our own progress and don't measure success by someone else's standards.
A scarcity mindset is just the opposite.
Question
Renowned psychologist Dr. James E. Loehr discusses the importance of not just being physically present but fully engaged in the task at hand to reach optimal performance and fulfillment.
Most of the time, it's an issue of energy management, not time management. E.g., too little focus spent on our physical energy like exercise and nutrition and too much spent on our mental energy such as work or school.
Which energy sources are you neglecting in your life (mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual) and what can you start doing about it?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
15 Courageous women, meaning, and sharing
No. 15 – 17 March 2023
Welcome to the 15th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
Sometimes we need inspiration from stories of courageous people to take risks and overcome our fears.
— Read more
Insight
Twentieth century psychologist and one of the three giants in psychology, Alfred Adler, on denying the existence of trauma:
"No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.”
Micro Thought
People are unhappy with their status quo but are unwilling to put in the work because it’s easier to leave things as they are.
Changing is challenging and causes anxiety and disappointment. And blaming our upbringing or environment won’t change our reality.
This is where courage comes in—focusing on what’s under our control, even though we can’t be sure of the outcome.
Question
We often suffer in silence, unwilling to burden others with our problems.
Although it may not necessarily provide us with a solution, sharing our sorrows can lighten the load, declutter the mind, and give us some perspective.
What problem is weighing heavily on your mind that you feel comfortable sharing with someone?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
14 Preparation, courage, and self-talk
No. 14 – 10 Mar 2023
Welcome to the 14th edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter with the actionable insights you need.
If you’d like to share this newsletter issue via text, social media, or email, just click here then copy and paste the link from your web browser.
TPL Article
Preparing for worst-case scenarios is one of the best ways to achieving mental strength.
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Insight
Seneca, on living in the present for happiness:
"If you separate from yourself, that is, from your thought . . . everything you have said or done in the past, everything that disturbs you about the future; all that . . . attaches itself to you against your will . . . if you separate from yourself the future and the past, and apply yourself exclusively to living the life that you are living—that is to say, the present—you can live all the time that remains to you until your death, in calm, benevolence, and serenity."
Micro Thought
In the early 1900s, Japanese children across the country were taught 3 simple but fundamental rules for living they had to repeat every morning. They are:
Do not be a burden to others
Take care of others
Do not expect rewards for your goodness
Chiune Sugihara, the Japanese diplomat who helped thousands of Jews flee Europe by issuing transient visas to them, credits his courage to these 3 simple rules.
A personal constitution of values and guiding principles that guide you in the most difficult times.
Question
There will always be tough times. The Stoics taught us that one way to prepare is to think about all the ways something can go wrong in that thing you’re pursuing and identify ways to prepare for it.
What is one important goal you're currently pursuing and what are the 3 worst-case scenarios that could get in the way?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef