32 Mindset, character, and signposts
No. 32 – 14 July 2023
Welcome to the 32nd edition of 4-TP, a weekly newsletter on building resilience and courage and pushing past boundaries.
Article
Resilience is not what you think it is. These are the 2 mistakes 95% of people make when they encounter obstacles.
— Read more
Quote
Susan David, on making decisions aligned with values:
“To make decisions that match up with the way you hope to live going forward, you have to be in touch with the things that matter to you so you can use them as signposts. If you’ve never taken the time to sort out your values, you’re always winging it, which is how we wind up frittering away our time.”
— Source: Emotional Agility
Insight
6 timeless hard-to-believe lessons for managing your fears and persevering through obstacles:
1/ Running away from stress every chance you get is not good for you.
A dose of pain is good for the soul.
It helps you see what you did wrong.
What you can and cannot change.
Increases your tolerance for it.
2/ Pain is temporary and bearable. "You can endure anything your mind can make endurable, by treating it as in your interest to do so." Marcus Aurelius
3/ There is pleasure and calm on the other side of pain. "There is a pleasure in having succeeded in enduring something the actual enduring of which was very far from pleasant." Seneca
4/ Think about the things you’ve done in the past that have been courageous. When adversity comes, remind yourself of the obstacles and suffering you overcame. "Call to mind things which you have done that have been upright or courageous." Seneca
5/ Focus on what you can control. You can still act with virtue, despite the pain. Be a good person and focus on helping others. That's the secret to alleviating your current suffering.
6/ Focus only on the present moment. You aggravate your suffering by thinking about what’s already happened to you or thinking about what’s to come. Hope lies in the future, hence unpredictable. The past is history and cannot be changed. The present, then, is what matters.
Question
Connecting deeply with someone you just met, despite differences in background, job, religion, or culture, can be an enriching experience.
However, our default tendency is to seek out individuals who are similar to us in appearance and speech, as it's what we're used to and makes us feel safe.
When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and attempted to have a conversation with someone who looked or sounded different?
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Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
