81 How to make fear work for you, not against you
No. 81 – 23 Jun 2024
Welcome to the 81st edition of the True Progress Newsletter, a weekly newsletter on mastering fear and anxiety for optimal performance.
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I got promoted to major in the US Army Reserve this past week. Some leadership lessons I've learned from being a captain:
Don't focus solely on yourself; others are depending on you.
The higher the rank, the more selflessness is required.
Extreme ownership is key to making a difference.
Actively seek feedback rather than passively waiting around for it.
Having a second passion is a must if you want to be your best self for others.
A real leader listens to understand, not to speak.
Hang around people better than you if you want to grow; be inspired, not jealous.
INSIGHTS TO REFLECT ON
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Fear creates self-doubt. Self-doubt creates hesitation. Hesitation creates overthinking. Overthinking creates indecision. Indecision keeps you risk-averse and in your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is where imposter syndrome blossoms.
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Fear is like a temptation that has to be tamed or else it will engulf your mind and take it into a downward spiral of negative thoughts and paralyze you. More often than not those thoughts are based on faulty assumptions or false beliefs, or both. If you put them against actual evidence, they gradually start to lose their grip on you.
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"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."
— William Shakespeare
EMOTION TO MEET
Neuroscience and brain-imaging research shows that properly naming an emotion is critical to managing and taming it.
Here's 1 to explore:
Insecure
Definition | Not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.
Example | I feel shy and insecure around strangers.
Origin | Mid 17th century: from medieval Latin insecurus ‘unsafe’, from in- ‘not’ + Latin securus ‘free from care’, or from in ‘not’ + secure.
CHALLENGE TO GROW
When fear starts setting in, you have two immediate choices: become paralyzed or create distance from the fear so you can act despite it.
Breathing is a fundamental emotion regulation protocol that keeps you in the present, shifts you out of your fight-or-flight response, activates your prefrontal cortex, and starts the problem-solving process.
Next time you're feeling fear about an upcoming event, make it a cue to breathe first, then act.
⌾ Reply to this email and let us know how it went.
BOOK JUST READ
The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Being disliked means you're doing something right. You're living in line with what's important to you, not a lesser version of someone else.
Contribution breeds a sense of usefulness. A sense of usefulness breeds self-worth. Self-worth breeds self-confidence.
Expectancy is the greatest obstacle to living. You don't know what the future holds, all you know is now.
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
