72 Feedback, crowd pleaser, denial
No. 72 – 21 Apr 2024
Welcome to the 72nd edition of the True Progress Newsletter, a weekly newsletter on mastering fear and anxiety for optimal performance.
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Article
Taking in feedback is a valuable accelerated learning skill.
You need to learn from mistakes and do it fast so you don’t repeat them.
If you want to be your best self, feedback is critical.
But the ego gets in the way. I’m a victim of this. This is how I tame my ego to let feedback in.
Know your tendencies
How do you usually respond when you get criticized over something in your job or personal life? How do you react? Are you defensive, inquisitive, ignoring, argumentative?
Build awareness first. Then change your response to one of open-mindedness and listening.
— Read more
Quote
This quote summarizes the importance of checking in with your thoughts regularly. Your thoughts guide your emotions and actions. Your thoughts are the story you tell yourself about yourself, your internal narrative.
Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
— Lao Tzu
Insight
In my 20s, one of my most significant mistakes was falling into the crowd's expectations: completing law school, pursuing a 9-5 job, pushing myself with long hours, and accepting every task that came my way. This path eventually led to burnout by the age of 31, leaving me feeling out of sync with both my career and lifestyle choices.
Emotion Signpost
Neuroscience and brain-imaging research shows that properly naming an emotion is critical to managing and taming it.
It's key to decreasing fear and anxiety, becomes a pause for reflection, and increases understanding of yourself and others.
Here are 2 to explore:
Denial
Definition | The action of declaring something to be untrue.
Example | She shook her head in denial after learning that she didn't get the promotion she hoped for.
Origin | From Middle English denyen, from Old French denoier (“to deny, to repudiate”) (French dénier), from Latin denegare (“to deny, to refuse”), from de- (“away”) and negare (“to refuse”).
Defensive
Definition | Very anxious to challenge or avoid criticism.
Example | He was very defensive about that side of his life.
Origin | Late Middle English: from Old French défensif, -ive, from medieval Latin defensivus, from Latin defens-‘warded off’, from the verb defendere.
Question
I used to procrastinate every day until I discovered the power of building systems around my goals, projects, and actions.
When faced with daunting projects, we often take two paths: feeling overwhelmed and postponing tasks, or feeling overwhelmed but implementing systematic planning and prioritization.
One of the most impactful strategies I've adopted is learning to prioritize tasks right from the start. This can involve a simple list that you review regularly, keeping your priorities front and center. You can even organize it by quarter and/or month.
What are some ways you use to prevent procrastination from spiraling into anxiety? Do they save you time in the long run?
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
