63 Intentional discomfort, humiliation, gamification
No. 63 – 16 Feb 2024
Welcome to the 63rd edition of the True Progress Newsletter, a weekly newsletter on beating fear and anxiety for optimal performance.
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Article
The antidote to stress from trying to balance work responsibilities with personal life commitments and self-care is not meditation or yoga. It's more stress and leaning into discomfort.
— Read more
Quote
Mel Gibson, on humiliation:
"You ask anybody what their number one fear is, and it's public humiliation. I don't give a f**k anymore. I'm not afraid of it because I've had plenty, and now it's just time for me to say I'm tough because what does not kill you makes you stronger."
Insight
I used to sell myself short because I had a story I kept telling myself. A story with a demon that told me, "You're not good enough." It stopped me from taking risks and applying for jobs. I fixed this by redefining my relationship with adversity. This is how I did it:
1. Constant misfortune has a way of hardening the spirit
“The man who has struggled constantly against his own ills becomes hardened... and no misfortune makes him yield....” Seneca
The more adversity you encounter in life, the more desensitized you become to it.
2. Adversity leads to self-respect
Doing hard things has a way of changing your self-perception. It builds your willpower (anterior mid-cingulate cortex, aMCC). You confirm to yourself that you can do hard things and get through adversity.
3. Not enough adversity leads to unhappiness
Not challenging yourself only leads to bitterness and jealousy. “Nothing…seems to me more unhappy than the man who has no experience of adversity. For he has not been allowed to put himself to the test.” Seneca
4. Adversity is like a muscle
The more you expose yourself to your anxieties, the more momentum you build in taking risks, the bolder you become. And, it’s not what you endure, but how you endure it. It’s having the right mindset.
The right mindset requires adopting the right meaning of adversity in your life.
"[I]t is expedient even for good men, in order that they may be fearless, to spend much time in fearful pursuits, and to endure with a patient mind things that are bad only to the one who bears them badly.” Seneca
Emotion Signpost
Neuroscience and brain-imaging research shows that properly naming an emotion is critical to managing and taming it.
It's key to decreasing fear and anxiety, becomes a pause for reflection, and increases understanding of yourself and others.
Here are 2 to explore:
Numb
Definition | Deprived of the power of sensation.
Origin | Late Middle English nome(n), past participle of obsolete nim ‘take.
Alive
Definition | Full of emotion, excitement, activity, etc.
Origin | Old English on līfe, literally ‘in life’.
Question
Building any new habit is uncomfortable in the beginning. The initial attempts are bumpy and involve some trial and error. But sticking to it builds momentum and eventual pride. With more pride comes more motivation.
The goal should be to tally up as many small wins in your favor as possible and as little misses as possible. Habits are like a game.
If your 2024 has been filled with bumps on the road, what can you start doing differently to get that much needed momentum?
Some suggestions:
Modify physical space
Declutter calendar
Get priorities straight
Eliminate distractions
Delegate or automate tasks
Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
