50 Pushing limits, joyful stress, and self-discovery
No. 50 – 17 Nov 2023
Welcome to the 50th edition of the True Progress Newsletter, a weekly newsletter on building resilience.
Article
Four science- and philosophy-backed mental frameworks to apply before taking on a hard challenge or task.
— Read more
Quote
T. S. Eliot, on pushing past one's limits:
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
Insight
The 8 powerful mental shifts to loving high stress and living out your day dream:
Stress and pressure cloud the mind. Both are obstacles to our dreams. Let’s see how we can embrace them.
1. Block out the noise
Focus on: Actions Effort Intent These we can control.
Be indifferent to:
What the world is doing
Whether someone is failing or succeeding
Whether someone is judging you
These we can’t control. When we focus on the right things, our stress becomes clearer and more manageable.
2. Build a value compass
Stress, pressure, and anxiety will narrow our attention to what’s going on in the moment. Nothing else seems to matter. This is the exact time to go deep and remind ourselves of what’s most important to us.
The goal — to expand our perspective beyond our current suffering. Which means we need to go back and ask ourselves (before we even start executing) what’s most important to us: What do I value? What’s most important to me? What renews my perspective on my current situation?
Once we figure out our values, we need to constantly ask: Am I on the right path? Am I where I should be right now? Is this stress part of the journey to achieving my goals?
3. Create a secondary passion
We have an ingrained perception that success comes from constant grinding and hustling. This perception is scientifically flawed. Hard work is essential.
But having a second passion is just as essential. Because second passions disconnect us from the constant grind. And disconnecting is the means to renew and recharge to come back stronger when it’s time to perform again. Find a second passion.
4. Plan small goals with a focus on the long-term goal
That way we can make sure our tasks align with our projects, our projects with our goals, and our goals with our values.
5. Get into healthy competition
It puts our skills to the test. It tests our emotional mastery. It builds character.
3 simple ways to inject competition into our lives: Surround yourself with people who are some steps ahead and inspire you. Find activities where you can compete (e.g., second passion). Train with people who will push you the hardest.
6. Seek constant feedback
Know your tendencies, i.e., patterns in how you respond.
Separate the content of the feedback from the giver of the feedback.
Change your perspective on feedback and see it as potential coaching.
Evaluate the feedback.
Be proactive about it, i.e., seek it out and don’t wait to get it.
Put the feedback into practice with small experiments.
Build a community of support who can give you frank feedback.
7. Analyze successes
Having a list of past successes is a confidence booster, especially when you can review it in the middle of a stress storm. For that, we have to work backward and extract the following from past victories: What strategies and tactics did you use so you can use them again? What decisions did you make? What problems did you solve? What best practices can you make a note of?
8. See and own it
See it
This means properly naming and labeling the stress. It’s about acknowledging its existence rather than burying it.
Own it
This means managing expectations. Stress is part of the journey. If it was easy, we wouldn’t feel what we feel. Some goals are more difficult than others. Understand it’s what we chose to do. It’ll make us stronger.
Emotion Signpost
Neuroscience and brain-imaging research shows that properly naming an emotion is critical to managing and taming it.
It's key to building resilience, becomes a pause for reflection, and increases understanding of yourself and others.
Here are 2 to explore:
Confident
Definition | Feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured.
Origin | Late 16th century: from Latin confident- 'having full trust'.
Proud
Definition | Feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions.
Origin | Late Old English prūt, 'having a high opinion of one's own worth'.
Question
How would your friends describe you in three words?
In most cases, they won't match up with yours as we are our own worst critic.
But at the end of the day, how do you want to describe your ideal self?
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Till next week,
— Carlos & Stef
